I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
