a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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