Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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