ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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