Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize