PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
