I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
