I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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