Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
our cab driver is having phone sex.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
