It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize