I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
