so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
