I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
