I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
