Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
