I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
bring money and cleavage
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
