Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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