Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
