im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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