I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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