Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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