not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
