I wannas sexs uuuuu
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just pee around me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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