he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
