True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
