ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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