This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
