No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
