? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
