i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
