your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
