I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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