I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
