if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
