He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just found puke in my bra..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
