i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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