please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
