hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
