she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
