So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
