we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
