We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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