There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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