He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she smelled like a LAN party
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
