stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Randomize
