I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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