she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
