Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
