hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Less talking, more tequila
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I would ride that face into the sunset
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
