he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
