another moral hangover. fuck.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
