I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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