I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
