i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
