Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
