I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
