I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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