doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
