BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
