Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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