I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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