What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
