I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
