was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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